Over the last several years, I have had the privilege of leading discussion groups on forgiveness. Forgiveness is one of the hardest commands of Jesus to practise, especially if the other party is unrepentant or doesn’t acknowledge that they have done wrong. But there are consequences for those of us who choose not to forgive. Here are a few:
1. Jesus will not be fully Lord of our lives
The phrase “Jesus is Lord” is found more than six times in the New Testament, and many historians say that it was considered a creed for early followers of Jesus. When we say, “Jesus is Lord”, we are basically saying that we are bond servants to Jesus and he is the owner of our lives. Jesus, our Lord, tells us to forgive as many times as possible. Not forgiving someone is direct disobedience to His commands. By not forgiving, we refuse to let Jesus be the boss; we take control of that area of our life, and we betray our forgiving Lord.
2. There will be no room for God to be the judge
Romans 12:18 says, “Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but leave room for God’s wrath. For it is written: ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” Unforgiveness is basically a form of revenge. It could be passive revenge (we sulk or are inwardly bitter) or active revenge (we become an aggressor in relationships and spew out anger and frustration). Either way, it’s revenge. By avenging ourselves, we are not leaving any room for God to be the judge and to rebuke. We are basically becoming the judge and dishing out our own punishment.
3. We will be setting a standard of unforgiveness on ourselves
This one is hard to address, but both the Gospels of Matthew and Mark repeat that Jesus says, “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive you your sins.” Basically, it is paradoxical for us to say that we are completely forgiven by Jesus and then to say, “but I will not forgive others”. The litmus test of us accepting Jesus’ forgiveness is to forgive others. If we refuse to forgive, we set a standard to be used on us.
Since we are going at it, let’s throw in a fourth.
4. You will heighten your chances of illness
Several studies have shown a direct link between unforgiveness and sickness. Here are a few of the proven symptoms that unforgiveness brings: high blood pressure, muscle tension, depression, high cortisol (stress hormone) levels and lower immunity to disease.
Written by Jonny Abraham.
Jonny is the Chief Servant and Delegator of Fusion in New Delhi. He is passionate about servant leadership. In his non-spare time, Jonny consults on leadership training with NGOs, companies and UN agencies. In his spare time, he spares time for a lovely wife and two boisterous daughters.