Ever since I was old enough to understand evil spirits, I had been frightened yet strangely fascinated by them. All those “ghost stories” I’d hear from friends and relatives had a deep impact on me. Little did I realise that those harmless things could affect my life.
I remember how, as a little girl of about 7 or 8 years, I would be scared to even walk from room to room at home. I would take along my younger sister or our house-help to get my things done. I would have trouble sleeping when traumatic incidents like death occurred in the community or whenever I secretly watched horror movies with friends, much to my parents’ anger. The impact was always evident in my behaviour. My parents would pray for me, and my fears would eventually subside.
But the challenge came when I left home to pursue my higher secondary studies and then college. I occasionally started experiencing the presence of evil spirits while reading my Bible or praying. My heart would start pounding crazily as if it was going to come out like that of Tom’s, when he sees danger in the Tom and Jerry cartoon. At one point in the hostel, I could not even bear to look at myself in the mirror because I thought that I saw an evil, twisted version of my face! I’ll spare you the details.
Although I was born again and slowly gaining confidence in the Word, I was still struggling with fear. I was so desperate to overcome fear that I finally asked the Lord to make me see Satan as He saw him. I reckon that’s what He had been wanting to show me, so He gave me a verse that would be my anchor till today.
“He said, ‘I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven.’” (Luke 10:18)
It was a joy to actually know Satan had been already defeated, but I still did not understand the power of the cross until one fine day. It was 6 in the morning in Delhi. I had spent the whole night studying for my exams. As I was preparing to sleep, I could feel that familiar fear creeping into me. I thought it was really ridiculous to be afraid when light was starting to crack in summer. Nevertheless, I went down on my knees and prayed.
As I was praying, I suddenly had a vision of my ankles being set free from the shackles of fear! I understood then how fear had been binding me. I could see my victory and I felt free! The devil would have none of it and continued to harass me, but I stayed strong in my prayers and the Word. After this, God showed me again in a vision how much mightier and stronger He really is than the devil. The devil is nothing compared to Him. God can outdo all his plans.
Jesus said, “Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32)
Over the following months and years, I could feel the power of my freedom inside of me. I felt fearless and invincible for the first time in my life because the Word had set me free and kept me strong. I cannot explain how liberating freedom is!
The devil left me for an opportune time to attack again. I could sense how angry he was over my victory. We have our battles every now and then. At times, he tries to instil fear in me; and sometimes, I do feel fear. But I have learned to renew my strength in God. I choose to stand courageous in the midst of it because I know the devil cannot touch my inner being. I am more than a conqueror.
“The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?
When the wicked advance against me to devour me,
it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me, even then I will be confident.” (Psalm 27:1–3)
Besides, I know the power and authority I have as a child of God.
“I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.” (Luke 10:19)
Fear is a good thing for me. It has brought me closer to God and has helped me discover faith. I would not have known God so intimately or been aware of the spiritual world had I not gone through the trials. Because we are made new in Christ, I now have a spirit that is more sensitive to the Holy Spirit than any other spirits in the world.
Contributed by Lily Pachuau
Lily loves the Lord, likes to try out new recipes and works part-time in Fusion.
